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THOUGHTS 



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ON 



DOMESTIC LIFE: 

ITS CONCORD AND DISCORD: 

WITH SUGGESTIONS 

HOW TO PROMOTE THE ONE AND AVOID THE OTHER. 

J 

BY NELSON SIZER. 

" IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN" OR WOMAN " SHOULD BE ALONE." 

NEW YORK: 

FOWLERS AND WELLS, PUBLISHERS, 

NOS. 129 AND 131 NASSAU STREET, 
IN CLINTON HALL. 



"/■ 



THOUGHTS 



DOMESTIC LIFE, 

ITS CONCORD AND DISCORD. 

WITH SUGGESTIONS 

HOW TO PROMOTE THE OSE AND AVOID THE OTHER, 

BY NELSON SIZE JR.. 

" IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN" OR WOMAN "SHOULD EE ALONE." 

NEW YORK: 
FOWLERS AND WELLS, PUBLISHERS, 

129 AND 131 NASSAU STREET. 



V 



T>\ 






Entered, According to act of Congress, in the year 1850, by 

NELSON SI Z i: R. 

in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District if 
New York. 






BANER AND PALMER, STEREOTYPEHS, 
201 William street, corner of Frankfurt. 






PREFACE. 



These lectures were written with no design to their 
publication. They formed a part of a very extended 
course of lectures on Phrenology, which were delivered 
at the city of Washington, in 1841, in connection with 
Mr. P. L. Buell. The favor with which they were 
received by the audience, and the earnest solicitation 
through the city papers for their immediate repetition, 
together with invitations to deliver them in the neigh- 
boring cities of Alexandria and Georgetown, first sug- 
gested the thought, that they might deserve a more 
permanent form. 

In the year 1842, Mr. O. S. Fowler published in 
the " Phrenological Journal," his deservedly popular 
work on " Matrimony," which, in another form, has 
been widely circulated in this country and in England. 
Mr. L.'N. Fowler has since published a very valuable 
treatise on the same subject. These were presumed 
to be all that the public sentiment demanded on this 
most interesting and important subject. But many of 
the readers of those works express a favorable opin- 
ion of these lectures, and solicit their publication. 

Believing that there is not only ample room, but a 
necessity, for all that has been said or written, and an 
hundred times more, to correct a tithe of the evils 
which cluster around the matrimonial altar, the reso- 
lution has been finally formed to commit this humble 
effort to the public. 

That the perusal of these pages may serve to revive 
in the minds of his former auditors some generous 
emotions of long cherished friendship — that, at least, 



IV PREFACE. 

some unhappy marriages may be prevented, and many 
appropriate ones formed, and that those who are un- 
congenially wedded may be guided in their desires 
and efforts to surmount their sorrows and gain the 
goal of " happiness, their being's end and aim," is the 
earnest desire of 

The Author. 



LECTURE I. 



Man is constituted a social being. He is formed for 
society and intercourse, and the very elements of his na- 
ture are opposed to a life of solitude. He ever delights 
in having, at least, one boon companion, in whom he can 
confide, with all the freedom and faithfulness of his own 
breast. Without this social law, life would hardly be 
worth possessing. On the basis of this elementary law of 
our nature, rests the institution of marriage, which is coe- 
val with the existence of man, and constitutes the centre 
of the system of the social relations, around which they 
all revolve. 

If we look at the primeval history of the race, we dis- 
cover the origin, and the Divine sanction of this institution. 
" And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should 
be alone : I will make him a help meet for him." He then 
produced just such a being, as was best suited to be at 
once the friend and companion of man. Then, and not till 
then, was creation perfect. At that auspicious moment 
was the climax of nature consummated, as the blushing 
glory of man burst forth upon a rejoicing world in the 
lovely form of woman ; who is, emphatically, the guardian 
of infancy, the guide of youth, the companion and orna- 
ment of riper years, the solace of age, at all times a friend, 
and an angel of mercy in sickness and death. 

Man, on the contrary, is the natural protector of woman. 

He willingly buffets the ills and fatigues of life, the danger 

and privations of war; he seeks wealth in the bowels of the 

earth, and wafts the treasures of other climes over the bo- 
1* 



6 BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE. 

som of the stormy sea, and ever feels restless and unsatis- 
fied till he has laid the whole at the feet of his beloved. 

The desire for the marriage state, and the duties and 
pleasures connected with it, are reciprocal. The mutual 
assistance and happiness arising from it, render it equally 
desirable, and whether it be acknowledged or not, we be- 
lieve that it is, by each party, equally sought. This be- 
ing true, the question naturally arises, how can this great 
end of our being be achieved, so as to secure the benefits 
and avoid the difficulties of the enterprize ? 

Very few persons in society voluntarily lead a life of ce- 
libacy, and although the surly bachelor may sneer at the 
idea of matrimony, yet allow me to remark that, if he has 
chosen that mode of life, from any cause, save his conscious 
unworthiness of a wife, he has little to expect from me on 
this occasion. Is he destitute of the common sympathies 
of our nature? Has he no heart to feel the tender witch- 
ery of female charms; or, is it encased in steel, so that 
Cupid's dart cannot perforate it; or, is he too indolent, or 
too miserly to support a wife ? He ought to remember 
that he is indebted to the institution of marriage for a 
home, even, and a place to lay his head. He is usually a 
supernumerary in some family where he may, at least, 
hang up his hat and cane and call it home. But those 
who advocate a life of celibacy, should be regarded by all 
good citizens, as enemies to one of the best institutions, 
and to the general well-being of society. With such 
persons, we have nothing to do, but shall confine our re- 
marks to those, who, having a proper estimate of this re- 
lation, are seeking a companion, such as shall divide the 
sorrows and double the joys of life. 

Marriage is the theme of the youthful mind; the cli- 
max of its fondest hopes; the inspiration of every noble 
sentiment. It gives wings to laudable ambition; energy to 
industry; efficiency to enterprize; a noble heart to valor; 



MISERABLE MARRIAGES. 7 

a high tone to the feelings, and stability to the character. 
As soon as the youthful mind is expanded to any consider- 
able extent, the thoughts and actions tend to this blissful 
goal. The lad, learns to be kind, courteous and atten- 
tive — the miss, becomes agreeable, graceful and accom- 
plished. 

From this view of the subject, we perceive an inherent 
disposition to associate in the matrimonial state ; and inas- 
much as it is a part of our nature to desire it, and that we 
cannot be happy as individuals, or, as a community with- 
out it; we conclude that "marriage is not the effect of 
human reflection, but an original decree of the Creator." 
When we see that marriage is desired by all ; the high 
and the low; the literate and illiterate; and that, the 
hopes arising from a prospective view of it, have a ten- 
dency to inspire in youth the activity of those faculties 
which adorn the human character; producing correct feel- 
ings and conduct before , and virtue and fidelity after its 
consummation; that by marriage, little social communi- 
ties are instituted; one of the first laws of the Creator 
obeyed; the rising generation cared for, and the general 
well-being of the great mass of mankind promoted, we 
shall, I trust, with one consent, render a verdict in its fa- 
vor. If there is one green spot on this sin-smitten earth — 
one happy memento of a "Paradise lost," it may be found 
in that sacred institution, whose office it is, to give to suf- 
fering mortals the bow of promise in the storm, and shed 
on earth's dark drapery the sun-light of peace. 

Married life, in many instances, has much of bitterness 
connected with it, in the present state of society, if we are 
to take the testimony of thousands as proof of the fact. 
The causes of the existence of this state of things, maybe 
found in our want of self-knowledge and self-control, and 
the power to pre-judge of the character and disposition of 
those with whom we associate. It is unfortunately true, 



8 MISERABLE MARRIAGES. 

that many a man or woman is rendered unhappy for life, 
by being wedded to an unsuitable partner. 

A lady, for example, of a kind disposition; the gushing 
fountain of whose heart sends forth a flood of benevolence 
and love as v*arm and free as the balmy breath of spring, 
who has been so unfortunate as to wed an arch and smil- 
ing hypocrite ; one who is a total stranger to the noble sen- 
timent of affection and whose heart is frigid as an iceberg; 
with such an one, is it possible that she can be happy 7 
In vain may she weep and hope ; a dreary region of suf- 
fering and sorrow is her portion, till she, broken-hearted, 
quits her vale of tears for the regions of the blest. Well 
may we shed the tear of pity over her hard lot; the blight- 
ed hopes of her young heart; her living immuration in a 
nuptial prison; her worse than Hindoo sacrifice. 

If unhappy wives were the only dark spots that deface 
the matrimonial picture, its contemplation were less pain- 
ful; but, when we find some equally unhappy husbands, 
we would heave a sigh for those who are unhappily wed- 
ded, and invoke every means in our power to obviate re- 
sults so unfortunate to the married. He who lavishes his 
first and best affections upon one who is unworthy of a man 
of noble and generous feelings, and cannot reciprocate them, 
finds, when it is too late, that his hopes of connubial bliss are 
blasted, and a thorn planted in his soul, which, with its fes- 
tering malignity is corroding his tenderest sensibilities and 
producing a desolation in his heart, which time, instead of 
alleviating, will only serve to augment. Intemperance, 
desertion or suicide are often resorted to, as an imaginary 
relief; they are wrecked on Scylla in the attempt to avoid 
Charybdis. It is as a wife that the defects of the female 
character appear in all their deformity, "and grow upon 
the disappointed husband like the frightful figures of the 
magic lantern, increasing in hideousness, as they increase 
in magnitude and distinctness. It is when the doating 
lover begins to suspect that the silent calm, which he had 



MISERABLE MARRIAGES. 9 

hitherto mistaken for maiden shyness, is, in reality, the 
silence of the soul — the calm of imperturbable stagnation. 
When he discovers that he has devoted his best affections 
to a beautiful, but marble statue; when he returns to his 
home, which ought to be an ever sunny place, and finds 
nothing but the yawning vacancy of a cold and cheerless 
void; when he pours his fresh warm feelings that burst in 
unstudied language from his burning lips upon the stony 
surface of an insensible heart, and that heart a woman's — 
it is then he shrinks back repelled and blasted, as if the 
blooming charms he once adored, were exchanged for de- 
formity and horror." 

Thus, we have a sample of unhappy marriages, where, 
as the Apostle says, they are "unequally yoked together." 
But this affords no good argument against matrimony it- 
self. The only difficulty in either case arises from a neg- 
lect, either wilfully or ignorantly, of the character and dis- 
position of the other party. 

Many ladies, in view of the matrimonial shipwreck of 
their sisters, have utterly refused to many, lest a like des- 
tiny should befall themselves. Rocks and shoals exist in 
the sea, and vessels sometimes founder through accident, 
carelessness, or the ignorance of navigators. It should 
also be remembered that there is in fact a plenty of " sea- 
room," and good charts and the compass; so that ship- 
wrecks are not the fault of the ocean, but of those who 
navigate it. Let as much attention be paid to the science 
of mind in connection with the matrimonial relation, as is 
now bestowed on that of navigation, and then it might be 
engaged in with as much certainty and safety, as the 
commerce of nations. 

"On no subject of equal importance to marriage, does 
there exist in society, so much ignorance and selfishness ; 
ignorance, of its designs and the laws which should regu- 
late it; selfishness, in the motives and objects of those en- 
tering- into this relation." 



10 ACCEPTING THE FIRST OFFER. 

Thus far, I have followed but a descriptive path, which, 
I apprehend, your knowledge of mankind will sustain me 
m saying, is but too often trodden in sober reality. But, 
the more difficult yet less painful part of my task remains 
to be done. 

It will not, I trust, be expected of me, on this occasion, 
to follow the ardent suitor through the meanderings of 
making love to his fair Desdemona, the breathing of those 
soft and honeyed words intended for her ear alone ; or to 
describe the throbbing heart and burning cheek of the 
modest maiden, as she expects, hopes for, and yet dreads, 
the fall disclosure of the tender passion of her beloved, 
which proposition, like a caged bird, is struggling for free- 
dom, and is to seal their mutual fate for weal or woe. 
77u6*, is a task, beyond the power of my tongue or pen. 
It is the voice of nature, and cannot be imitated. As the 
rich, soft tints of departing sun-light on the bosom of the 
fleecy cloud, look beautifully simple, yet cannot be copied 
by art 5 so, the half uttered, half suppressed vow of con- 
stancy and love, cannot be repeated, except under the 
sympathetic fervor of that exciting moment. 

I hope, therefore, I shall have your kind indulgence, if 
I leave each of you to assume such manners, and to 
breathe such melting expressions, as are most congenial 
with your respective tastes, and such as best comport 
with the high dignity of the enterprize. In granting this 
indulgence, you will allow me to confine myself, princi- 
pally, to such hints, as will enable each to avoid deception 
in the choice of a companion, and secure the blessings 
designed by its Author, to attend the holy estate of mat- 
rimony. This being done, I will venture to hope, that 
your kind attention and my humble effort, shall not have 
been in vain. 

Young persons are often hasty in contracting mar- 
riage ; too much disposed to accept the first offer, whether 



ACCEPTING THE FIRST OFFER. 11 

it be good or bad, lest they should be compelled to lead a 
life of single blessedness. 

But, say the ladies, " it is not left to as to make a selec- 
tion; we must wait in silence for such offers as maybe 
given, and then, the use of the little monosyllable, Yes, or 
No, decides our destiny." You mistake your influence, 
you look upon only one side of the question. The heart 
of man is not adamant; neither is he blind to the power of 
woman's love, or, the omnipotence of thai ' : merit that wins 
the soul." Although gentlemen nominally make the pro- 
posal, yet I am far from believing that ladies exert less 
influence in engaging attention, awakening affection, and 
directing matrimonial destiny. 

The sexes are about equally divided in point of num- 
ber, and as all good men should have a wife, and gene- 
rally seek one, the ladies have as good an opportunity of 
obtaining a husband, as if the customs of society sanc- 
tioned their taking the lead in the transaction. 

It would seem to be of far less importance to marry , 
than to marry icell; but, while very early marriages are 
encouraged, and while fancy takes the lead of sober sense 
and judgment in this matter ; married life will continue to 
be, what it is at present; a source of disappointment and 
repentance to thousands of our race. 

A lady once remarked to me, that she thought a ^wo- 
man's chance in matrimonial affairs, was like an angler, 
casting his hook into the sea for fish; not having the 
power to make even one bite; or, if he should chance to 
k get a bite, 5 he did not know whether it were a fish or a 
serpent." I replied that her remark " seemed to refer, 
rather to the proposal than to marriage itself, and that 
the angler, when the serpent on his hook was in his power, 
if he were wise, would follow an illustrious example of the 
olden time, viz., 'gather the good into vessels, and cast 
the bad awav-' " It is certainlv as well to starve, as to 



12 EARLY MARRIAGE. 

eat a poisonous serpent. A bad husband, or wife, is much 
worse than none, and single blessedness, is preferable to 
wedded misery. But, does a lady never have a second 
offer? There is very little danger to her future pros- 
pects, in discarding an unworthy suitor; but, total destruc- 
tion alike to hope and happiness, when marriage shall be 
the result of such an offer. 

There is a popular error in society, which is, that a lady 
is at her zenith at twenty, and old at twenty-five, at 
which age, she cannot expect a favorable marriage set- 
tlement, or, if she should chance to obtain one, it is re- 
garded in the light of a lottery-prize, a lucky freak of for- 
tune. This idea has given rise to the old adage, that "at 
sixteen, a girl says, who shall I take ? — at twenty, who 
shall I get ? — and at twenty-five, who will take me?" 

This opinion is brought about, by young ladies them- 
selves. Volatile and ardent in their feelings; with the 
rose of beauty on their cheek and more than diamond 
brightness in their eye, they apprehend little difficulty in 
selecting, from among their many admirers, one, who 
would be suited to their taste and circumstances in every 
respect, before the May-day of life shall have past. With 
feelings, such as these, they do not hesitate to express the 
opinion, in the presence of those who worship at the 
shrine of their beauty and accomplishments, that a lady 
of twenty-five is too old to have any pretensions to the 
admiration of the other sex. In their opinion, no age but 
that of " sweet sixteen," is worthy to monopolize the field 
of love. Thus, if they are not married young, they set a 
snare for themselves in the minds of gentlemen, who as- 
sume their opinions as true, and direct their attention to 
the gay young miss, leaving the matured lady of twenty- 
five, for widowers, superannuated bachelors, and those 
who never had high claims to the favors of the fair. 
Should any contingency protract the marriage of the lady 
who gave rise to this state of feeling, till she is twenty- 



PROPER AGE TO MARRY. 13 

five, she becomes a victim to a fashion of her own mak- 
ing. The consequence is, she feels neglected, and is more 
ready to accept the hand of one, whom, seven years be- 
fore, she would have considered unequal to her high pre- 
tensions. In other words, where this false notion prevails, 
relative to the proper age to marry, many ladies become 
less particular at the age of twenty-five than they were 
at eighteen. This morbid anxiety to settle in life at all 
hazards ; and the idea that at twenty-five, a lady is old 
and unacceptable, has a tendency to cheapen a lady in 
her own estimation, and many unhappy marriages is the 
result. 

Ladies are considered marriageable, too early in life. A 
miss, as she enters her 'teens, is taught by the customs, 
and conversation of society, to believe that a lynx-eye 
must be directed to the main chance. This induces early 
marriages; and, as before remarked, not only causes gen- 
tlemen to seek a wife from among the young; but, also, 
inspires in the minds of ladies the belief that, they must 
marry before they are twenty-five, or, "the harvest will 
be past — the summer ended; 55 and, like the miss, who 
was directed to walk through a cane-brake and select the 
straightest reed, feel compelled at last to accept a crooked 
one or none. Through the influence of this popular error, 
a highly estimable woman is often thrown away, upon an 
unworthy man, whose only qualification, in point of fact, 
is to make her unhappy. 

This state of things is unfortunate, and should be cor- 
rected. In England, a lady at twenty-five would resent 
the imputation of being old; and few, in that country, are 
married before they are twenty. "In Wurtemberg, it is 
illegal for a young man to marry before he is twenty-five, 
or a young woman before she is eighteen. 55 In the New 
England States, a lady is looked upon as being in her 
zenith at about twenty-four, and the much dreaded appel- 
lation of "old maid," is never applied till after the age of 



14 MENTAL QUALITIES OF THE SEXES. 

thirty. With a popular sentiment such as this, the sup- 
posed necessity for marrying very young is superceded. 
The natural law in regard to marriage, is, that the bodily 
constitution should be fully developed, and the mind im- 
proved by education and matured by age, to enable the 
lady to make a judicious choice, and at the same time be 
qualified to become a good wife. 

In marriage, all hope for happiness ; yet many, alas ! 
are disappointed. Phrenology, which is the only true phi- 
losophy of mind,most earnestly appeals to our consideration, 
in the choice of a bosom companion. It teaches us the 
nature of our own failings, and how to correct them ; while 
it furnishes a key by which we may learn the real temper 
and disposition of others, and thus enable us to form cor- 
rect conclusions of the qualities necessary to constitute a 
happy union. This, is one of the high prerogatives of our 
science. You may repress the smile, if you please, which 
this annunciation may have excited, till you shall have fol- 
lowed me through the subject, and if I do not clear it up, 
I will endeavor to leave it as well as I found it, viz., to 
suffer people to go on as heretofore, blindfolded if they 
will, and marry for an air distingue, a haughty mustache, 
a rosy cheek, a pretty foot, a delicate hand, or, " a love 
breeding dimple," if they can find nothing better to admire. 

One reason why marriage is a source of unhappiness 
to so many, is, that the parties do not properly understand 
their rights, duties, and appropriate sphere of action. 

Phrenology teaches, that man, has more of Destructive- 
ness, Combativeness, Firmness and Self Esteem, and lar- 
ger reasoning organs than woman. These faculties, bring 
him into harmony with his peculiar duties. They give 
dignity, sternness and force of character ; fit him for the 
protection of country, home and friends ; they give that 
lofty tread and noble bearing, that bold heroic courage 
which rushes into danger, deals out retribution to every 
lawless invader of his rights, and sways the destiny of 



woman's nature. 15 

states and empires. They climb the dizzy heights of sci- 
ence, and ask of nature, unabashed, the most exalted of 
her secrets. 

Phrenology also teaches, that woman is endowed with 
larger social and moral organs, which give a different cur- 
rent to her feelings, and a different sphere of action, and 
thus admirably fit her to be the solace and ornament of 
society. 

Rev. Mr. Gannet, has beautifully said, " The sensibili- 
ties and affections, are the strength of woman's nature. 
Feeling, is the favorite element of her soul. She has an 
instinctive sympathy with the tender, the generous, and 
the pure. We expect from her, examples of goodness. 
Vice appears more unnatural in her, than in the other sex ; 
it certainly is more odious. Vulgarity, seems coarser ; 
immorality, more inexcusable; impiety, more shocking. 
' A wicked woman,' expresses the climax of depravity. 
By the law of her nature, moreover, woman is determined 
towards reliance and confidence, rather than towards an 
independence of foreign support. She is willing to rest 
on another's arm ; she seeks protection ; she covets affec- 
tion." 

Lavater, also, who closely studied human nature, is very 
appropriate in his description of the mental manifestations. 
He says, " Woman is more pure, tender, affectionate, 
and patient than man. She is the counterpart of man — 
taken out of man, to comfort him like angels and to lighten 
his cares. She thinks less profoundly than man ; sensi- 
bility is her power. They often rule more effectually, 
more sovereignly, than man. They rule with tender 
looks, with tears and sighs, but not with passions and 
threats; for, if they so rule, they are no longer women, but 
abortions. They are capable of the sweetest sensibility, 
the most profound emotion, and the excess of enthusiasm. 
The whole world is forgotten, in the presence and proximity 
of him they love." 



16 MARRIAGE OF MIND. 

" Man hears the bursting thunder ; views the destructive 
bolt with serene aspect, and stands erect amid the awful 
majesty of the streaming clouds. Woman, trembles at the 
lightning and the voice of distant thunder, and shrinks into 
herself, or, sinks into the arms of man. She contemplates 
the rainbow, as the promise of peace ; lie extends his in- 
quiring eye over the whole horizon. Woman, laughs; 
man, smiles ; woman, weeps 5 man, remains silent ; woman 
is in anguish, when man weeps ; and in despair, when man 
is in anguish." 

This picture, drawn from nature, exhibits at a glance, 
the distinguishing mental characteristics of the sexes ; 
while the new light of Phrenology comes forward and illu- 
minates the interesting mystery. It is clear, that the pe- 
culiar qualities of each are requisite to complete the 
human character ; and we find the index to these peculiari- 
ties written with the unerring pen of nature, in the organi- 
zation of the brain. The collective mental qualities of the 
male and female character, thus conjoined and interlaced, 
produce a kind of oneness, a complete identity, and illus- 
trate the declarations, " In the image of God created he 
him ; male and female created he them." " They twain 
shall be one." Lavater says, "Man singly, is but half a 
man ; at least but half human — a king without a kingdom ; 
nor is man what he may, and ought to be, but in conjunc- 
tion with woman." Dr. Franklin's remark, upon the 
odd half of a pair of shears, is in good keeping with the 
above. 

Let each, then, be mutual helpers. " Let not the head 
say to the hand, I have no need of thee." Let neither 
assume superiority ; as neither can properly exist without 
the other. Let each feel and acknowledge the claims of 
love, duty, sympathy and protection, and never transcend 
the sphere in which nature designed, and has fitted, each 
to move. 

It must be apparent to all, that the plow, the fiery 



woman's sphere. 17 

courser, the shrill war-bugle, the sword and battle-axe, 
were not made for woman. The clang of arms, as might 
contends against might, hewing down thousands upon the 
bloody field, the roaring cannon, thundering forth its iron 
shower of death, hurling to their last sleep the bravest 
hearts that ever struggled for human liberty, are scenes, 
ill suited to the tender nature of woman. Or, would she 
be a mariner, grappling with the angry storm on the surg- 
ing bosom of the briny deep, where white-capped moun- 
tain waves leap from their ocean-bed and dance among 
the clouds, mocking the vivid lightning which gleams 
about their heads, and chanting, with the pealing thunder 
that rolls across their dark blue bosoms, the awful chorus 
of the storm ? 

To soothe the cares of man, and throw around the do- 
mestic circle a blessed halo of peace and purity ; to refine 
the coarser feelings of man ; to sweeten the cup of afflic- 
tion, trembling on the lip of distress ; to pour " the oil of 
consolation" into the wounds of the troubled spirit, and 
mould the infant mind for patriotism, piety and heaven, is 
her proper sphere, and should be her highest ambition. 
To say that this is not nobility, would be a perversion of 
language, as well as of fact and common sense. 

Woman may sigh for regal power, but let her rule, as 
did Mary, the mother of Washington, through the char- 
acter of the son. Does she thirst for the conquests of 
proud Caesar ; the fame of Alexander, which only made 
him wretched ; or the fickle fortune of a Cromwell or Na- 
poleon 1 But let her remember, that, like a star hurled in 
a tangent from its orbit 5 so she, lured from her proper 
sphere, by a worse than false, — a wicked ambition — vio- 
lates the law of order, which, being " Heaven's first law," 
cannot be disregarded with impunity. 

Let her cultivate her intellectual and moral powers, and 
if she desires literary fame, a Sigourney, a Hemans and a 
2* 



18 UNEQUAL MATCHES. 

Sedgwick, a Hale, a Leslie or a Landon, may be her 
examples. 

Is she patriotic ? let her breathe upon the budding 
genius of her son, the spirit of a Washington, a Chatham, 
a Lafayette, a Jefferson, a Sherman or a Henry. Or, 
does her soul burn to preach £ the everlasting gospel V let 
her touch his lips with the pious fervor of a Melancthon, 
or a Whitefield, a Wesley, a Knox or a Chalmers — and 
when she hears the high-toned eloquence of human liberty 
bursting from his lips, and " blushing honors gathering 
thick upon him ;" or, from the sacred desk, pouring forth 
with melting pathos, " the ministry of reconciliation 5" let 
her rejoice, and thank God, that she has been a wife and 
mother, and that the highest human duty, has been, by 
her, faithfully performed. 

Having spoken of the nature of man and woman, and 
the appropriate sphere of action of each ; we conclude, 
that the Author of our being has placed man under the in- 
fluence of specific, organic laws, and indicated those laws 
by external signs, which laws and signs, if well consulted, 
would place him in harmony with his own nature, and 
with the external world. A proper understanding of 
phrenology, which is but another name for the laws of our 
mental constitution, would give us at once a clue to the 
thousand feuds in society; while a knowledge of, and obedi- 
ence to, those laws, would bring that reign of peace, for 
which the soul of the philanthropist leaps with joy, in anti- 
cipation of its bright dawn. 

Has the young man found that " it is not good for him 
to be alone," and does he instinctively turn to select for 
himself, one, who shall be to him in every lane of life, a 
wife and friend ? The most important crisis of his life has 
now arrived, requiring the coolest judgment, and the most 
vigilant sagacity. It is thought by many, if not by a ma- 
jority of mankind, that strong affection between the par- 



FAMILY QUARREL. 19 

ties is amply sufficient to secure their matrimonial happi- 
ness, however many strong points of repulsion may exist 
in their characters. It is not uncommon for persons to 
possess many strong attracting and repelling predisposi- 
tions, and although they may be united by the warmest 
affection and the purest of motives ; yet they find by sad 
experience, that they cannot live agreeably together but 
at short intervals. They disagree and quarrel ; but as 
soon as the unhappy moment of excitement is past, they 
feel aggrieved at their folly — to give it no worse a name — 
censure self for the deed ; repent of it as in sackcloth ; live 
a short time in peace, and then repeat the drama. Thus they 
go on from year to year, sinning and repenting, but without 
the least possible reformation, till the last vestige of affec- 
tion is dethroned and final separation embitters the residue 
of their lives. 

Although, perhaps, in a majority of cases of unhappy 
wedlock, a correct knowledge of the causes and the rem- 
edy which phrenology unfolds, would enable the parties 
so to control, reform and assimilate their charaters, as not 
only to render connubial life tolerable, but even pleasura- 
ble ; yet, there are some persons between whom strong 
social attachments exist, whose other mental qualities 
seem to render it wholly impossible for them to live hap- 
pily together. An instance of this, has fallen under my 
own notice. A married couple in Massachusetts, quar- 
relled soon after their union, and separated. Unhappy in 
this condition, a reconciliation was effected, and for awhile, 
the sea of their life ran smoothly. Another storm, how- 
ever, arose, and they parted. Thus have they gone on for 
twelve years, uniting and parting two or three times each 
year, neither happy when together, nor when separated. 
They are a perfect puzzle to their friends, who can place 
no reliance on their promises of amendment. 

A key to this ludicrous contradiction of character is 
furnished by Phrenology ; it is simply this. The social 



20 TfiE QUARREL EXPLAINED ITS CURE. 

organs of Amativeness and Adhesiveness, are large in 
both, the natural impulses of which prompt them to unite. 
Combativeness and Destructiveness are also large in each 
and not restrained by high moral powers, the excessive 
activity and strength of which produce a .quarrel under 
the slightest provocation, and they separate. When the 
excitement of Combativeness and Destructiveness has 
subsided, the social organs produce unhappiness while 
separated, and they again unite. 

When two organs, which stand in natural opposition to 
each other; such, for example as Benevolence and De- 
structiveness, are large, and are not directed by others 
equally strong; circumstances give tone to the char- 
acter. If Firmness with Combativeness and Destruc- 
tiveness be large ; the wife should have those organs 
in smaller development, with great Benevolence, Adhe- 
siveness and Cautiousness, the natural exercise of which 
will serve to soften the sterner features of her husband's 
character, by quieting his vigorous propensities and calling 
into activity his higher sentiments. By such means, may 
the character of the man be essentially improved. Proper 
cultivation, however, should have rendered it unnecessary 
for the wife to remodel his character after marriage. In- 
asmuch as many have consummated their selection, and 
are less happy than they desire to be ; to such the fact 
is important, that, by careful and persevering effort, their 
dispositions may be greatly improved, and domestic hap- 
piness shed her warming radiance on their pathway, and 
many of their former hopes be realized. 

I long for that state of things to arrive, when a man's 
head shall be as closely studied, when he offers his hand 
in matrimony, as the extent of his fields, or the amount of 
his cash. Then, will flattery cease to be an altar, on 
which, to sacrifice the fondest hopes of the confiding and 
the good. Then, shall the black-hearted hypocrite be 
dragged from his fastness, and exhibited in the broad 



HYPOCRISY IN COURTSHIP. 21 

blaze of truth, in all his haggard deformity. Then, will men 
seek to be internally virtuous, as well as externally ac- 
complished with a whitewash character, which only allures 
to deceive. 

It has long been my settled opinion, that candor, 
should be the cardinal virtue of courtship. It is too fash- 
ionable to lay aside the real character, in the negotiation 
of matrimony, and endeavor to appear to be, what we are 
not. Ladies have imbibed the same spirit, either from 
choice or necessity, to counteract or offset the deception 
of man. Thus they go on deceiving, and being deceived, 
each representing self, at least a hundred per cent, above 
par. Under this garb of deception, one may assume the 
airs of a man of moral virtue, having, as Pollok says, 
" Stolen the livery of the court of Heaven, to serve the 
devil in." He may be fashionable ; talk in measured sen- 
tences; exhibit the polish of intellect and education; kiss 
the lady's hand genteelly, and his whole demeanor as- 
sume an irresistible etiquette : but remember, that, " He 
may smile, and smile, and be a villain." To guard 
against this hollow-hearted flattery, the lady plays the 
coquette, endeavoring to deceive him, as much as it is pos- 
sible for herself to be deceived. And what is gained by 
it to either party ? Most clearly, nothing. The primary 
object is, to obtain a companion better than ourselves. 
But when time reveals the secret, we are disgusted with 
the ideal perfection, which on the one hand we had deem- 
ed a god, or, on the other, an angel. They have proved 
to be but mortal, and perhaps very frail at that. 

I am opposed to this proxy courtship — to these mas- 
querade campaigns — to this shining in borrowed light, or 
even, false light If we become whited-walls to deceive, 
let us remember that a like snare may be set for our own 
feet, and that, although two cheats may be an even bar- 
gain, yet, it is, after all, a deception and a disappointment. 

The one main object of courtship, should be, to learn 



22 FALSE HOPES AND PROMISES. 

the real character, and especially to become acquainted 
with each other's faults ; for, who would wish to marry a 
thief, a drunkard, an inveterate scold or slattern? yet, 
under the present mode of effectually concealing the true 
character, we may — under the garb of a fair exterior and 
flaming pretensions — find some one, or more of these traits 
of character, attached to the object of our choice. 

If persons do not experience in matrimony all the ideal 
bliss they had promised themselves, it does not prove that 
conjugal life has no joy; but, that they had promised 
themselves too much. The business man, sees thousands 
around him ruined by rash speculation, yet he rushes into 
the same course and the same ruin, all the while expect- 
ing that he shall escape. So, the young, may witness 
family quarrels, perhaps at home, yet, they hope for, and 
promise themselves in married life, a flowery pathway of 
joy, without cultivating in their own characters, those ten- 
der affections, and that equanimity of temper, on which, 
alone, can happiness be founded. 

Is it strange that those who neglect to sow in youth, the 
seeds of future happiness, and live on hope alone, should 
" beg in harvest, and have nothing ?" We not only cherish 
false hopes in respect to the future, but these same hopes 
induce us to promise our future partner too much : often, 
it may be, honestly enough, though perhaps more fre- 
quently, these promises are as hypocritical as they are 
fallacious. 

I recollect a tale, of one of this nattering clique, who 
paid his addresses to a lady, and among other fair promi- 
ses, told her that, if she married him, she need never to 
wet her hands in cold water. This was supposed to im- 
ply, a household of dutiful servants, and one of the most 
kind husbands, with which any daughter of Eve was ever 
blest. She married him ; but water was not brought, 
warmed to her room as she had been led to expect. She 
silently pondered the promise for a few weeks, and then 



hope's false bubble burst. 23 

modestly reminded him of it, when she was coolly told by 
him, " there is wood, and there is water, and if you are 
too lazy to warm it for yourself, you may use it cold." 
Now, if no promise had been made, no expectations would 
have been elicited, and no disappointment experienced. 
Like a woman of good sense, she would have been con- 
tented with the cold water. The evil arising from this 
transaction does not consist in the use of cold water, but 
it shows the husband a hypocrite and a tyrant, and de- 
stroys in the wife every sentiment of respect and confi- 
dence towards him. Though, abstractly considered rela- 
tive to health, the promise were better broken than kept, 
yet it no less unmasks the dishonest folly of the man, and 
saps the foundation of his wife's affection and respect. 



LECTURE II. 



The influence of wealth, in connection with matrimony, 
is, perhaps, one of the most prolific sources of deception, 
and the greatest lure to both parties. 

Paramount considerations, on which alone can happi- 
ness be predicated, in this, or any other social relation, 
are often sacrificed to this idol — gold. Pollok, most graph- 
ically portrays the wide-spread infatuation of Mammon 
worship, in the following lines. 

" Gold many hunted, sweat and bled for gold, 
And on its altar sacrificed ease, peace, 
Truth, faith, integrity, good conscience, friends, 
Love, charity, benevolence, and all 
The sweet and tender sympathies of life. 
Most for the luxuries it brought, the pomp, 
The praise, the glitter, fashion and renown, 
This yellow phantom followed and adored." 

You may recollect the anecdote of an English clergy- 
man who was holding an argument with some of his less 
fortunate ministerial brethren. In reply to their cogent 
reasoning he perseveringly responded, "I can't see the 
subject as you do." Tired with this apparently selfish 
blindness to truth and reason, one of them wrote a word 
on a piece of paper and laid a gold coin over it, and asked 
him if he could read it, and he replied, "no, I can't see it." 
The guinea was removed, and he read the word "truth." 
Now, I respectfully suggest, that gold often hides the 
truth; palliates inexcusable defects, and jeopards our 
highest interests in affairs of matrimony. 

There is such a blind infatuation on this subject, that a 
lady, on whose intellectual and moral education, much 



MAMMON MARRIAGE. 25 

care and expense have been bestowed, too often imagines 
that if she obtains a rich establishment with a husband, 
she shall be happy, of course, and does not stop to ask 
after his intellectual and moral wealth. Nature, with an 
unsparing hand, has lavished upon her the charms of 
personal and mental accomplishments, but she is not 
wealthy, and feels that wealth, alone, is necessary to com- 
plete her happiness. A constellation of admirers pay 
tribute at her shrine, and wealth stoops to do her homage. 
Her ambition sways her choice. Her hand is sought by 
one who is genteel and wealthy, and she pours the rich 
nectar of her heart's best affections upon the altar of fash- 
ion and of Mammon. Her warm spirit, destined for the 
temperate region of love, seeks a resting-place on the 
frigid bosom of him who never felt the noble impulse ; 
whose heart like adamant resists whatever is tender and 
pure, and congeals the burning tear that falls upon its 
stony surface. She awakes from her dream, and finds, 
when it is too late, that the smile of a hypocrite and the 
glitter of wealth, have ensnared her soul. Her beauty 
and accomplishments attracted the attention of the 
wealthy, but heartless villain; and finding the phantom 
wealth incompetent to impart happiness, she is left to pine 
neglected, and to drink the bitter dregs of unrequited love 
and of a false ambition. This sadness is wholly charge- 
able to a careless, yet inexcusable infringement of the law 
of union. Oil and water will not mingle. Union, implies 
likeness, adaptation, or affinity. These principles of 
agreement should be closely studied with reference to 
union for life. When " the lion shall lie down with the 
lamb," then, and not till then, may we expect such ill-as- 
sorted marriages to be productive of any thing but the 
utter extinguishment of every ray of hope and happiness 
to the parties. 

Is a lady rich? she has much to fear in the choice of a 
husband. Her purse, and not her person, may be the 



26 A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. 

object of admiration. Avarice, or an excess of Acquisi- 
tiveness in an immoral man, will lead him to forego every 
honorable sentiment to gratify his sordid appetite for 
money. Such persons eagerly inquire: is she rich? is 
her fortune at her command ? and not is she worthy? if 
so, am I worthy of her? Is she kind and amiable in her 
disposition? Are her feelings, tastes, and education suit- 
ed to my own ? and last, but not least, can we reasonably 
hope to be happy together ? 

Has the man inherited the pride of an ancestral name, 
without its income ? With a feeble moral development, 
he will strive by a rich marriage, to revive his dilapidated 
fortune, and practice all the artifice of a demon, to accom- 
plish his purpose, when he seeks the person only for the 
patrimony. This spirit is well illustrated by a popular 
tale entitled, " Insubordination," founded, I believe, at 
Baltimore. The hero of the tale is called iVnderson, 
who professed to be the son of a wealthy southern plan- 
ter, spending the summer at Baltimore for pleasure. He 
lavished his attentions upon "Genevieve," the daughter 
of a merchant, who had acquired a fortune by toil and 
care, and who, by the way, had discernment enough to 
detect the falsity of Anderson's assumed character, and he 
forbad him the society of his daughter. But her insubor- 
dinate spirit led her to cherish his attentions and promise 
him her hand at all hazards. At this stage of the pro- 
ceedings, Anderson said to a confidential friend, relative 
to his expected union, " I know she is a bitter pill to 
swallow, but the old man is rich, and I am desperately in 
want of cash ; but, I confess, that Genevieve with the 
rhino, and Genevieve without the rhino, is not, in my 
judgment, one and the same person." An elopement and 
a clandestine marriage took place, and while the happy 
pair were waiting, week after week, at their apartments 
opposite the father's place of business, for his iron will to 



THE HEIRESS. 27 

yield, so that a few tears and promises would induce him 
to unlock his coffers and surrender the expected fortune ; 
behold, an unpaid tailor's bill was presented for adjust- 
ment, upon which Anderson decamped, leaving wife, for- 
tune, unpaid tailor's bill, and all. 

The potent influence of money, in this most important 
of all life's chances and changes, is by no means confined 
to the sordid and immoral ; and hence, it is a common re- 
mark that a person has married well, when they marry 
rich, whether there is any real union of feeling and cha- 
racter or not. Led away by the undue activity of Acquis- 
itiveness and Approbativeness, a person literally marries 
a farm and takes its possessor as an appurtenance, and 
often, even, as an incumbrance. 

A very sensible lady who was rich, once observed in 
my presence, that she feared to marry, lest money : and 
not herself, should prove to have been the object of ad- 
miration; and, said she, "as I value happiness more than 
wealth, I often wish that I was poor, so that my hand 
would be sought, if sought at all, for myself alone." The 
following incident illustrates Mammon courtship, and fur- 
nishes a touch-stone to test the sincerity of suitors. 

A young and beautiful heiress of England, had many 
suitors. Above all others she preferred William English 
and Henry Sanders, neither of whom was rich, and to 
whom her fortune would be a valuable acquisition. She 
feared that her wealth might, after all, be the main object 
of their regard, and as neither had declared himself, and as 
she thought, only waited for the proper encouragement so 
to do ; she resolved on an expedient to test their honesty 
and fidelity. She caused it to be reported that the prin- 
cipal heir to her deceased uncle's estate was not dead, as 
it had been supposed, but had been in captivity among 
the Arabs, and was soon expected to return and take pos- 
session of his estate. She accordingly quitted the prem- 
isesj laid aside her jewels, assumed a plain style of dress, 



28 RIDICULOUS MARRIAGES. 

and retired to a small cottage, retaining but a single ser- 
vant, and her whole appearance bespoke her limited pat- 
rimony. Her two lovers called on her as usual, for a few 
weeks; but the visits of English soon became '-few and 
far between/' and finally, were suspended altogether. On 
the contrary, Sanders came more frequently, and tarried 
longer, and on one of these occasions said to her, "now that 
you are poor like myself, I may venture to address you on 
a subject, respecting which, had you remained rich, my 
lips would forever have remained hermetically sealed. If 
you will consent to be mine, my best endeavors shall 
prove to you, that I am not unworthy of your hand and 
heart. I am not rich, but with my small property, and 
assiduous effort, I trust I can maintain you respectably." 
The day was set for the nuptials, and English was invited 
to accompany the parties to the house of a friend, where 
the ceremony was to take place; when, behold! the car- 
riage halted before her former mansion, and she was found 
still the owner and mistress of the whole. William Eng- 
lish cursed his stars and cut their acquaintance; while 
Henry Sanders, no less surprised than his late rival, ob- 
tained a wife and fortune, every way worthy of so noble 
a spirit. 

Money-made matches are often ridiculous in the ex- 
treme. When I see a poor young man of twenty-one, 
marry a wealthy maid or widow of fifty or even sixty 
years of age, whose face time has plowed and cross- 
plowed with the furrows of antiquity; or, a beautiful miss, 
of eighteen, legally united, (for it can hardly be called 
marriage,) to a purse-proud millionaire, over whose head 
the whitening frosts of three score winters have left their 
impress, T think they marry for love — of money. 

I was lecturing in Delaware in 1840, and was invited 
to visit a neighborhood in which no hotel was kept, and 
during my stay, accepted the proffered hospitalities of a 
wealthy gentleman's house. He was thirty-one, and his 



CUPID UNMASKED. 29 

ivife was sixty-six years of age. Being a little curious to 
learn something of the history of such an union, I went to 
the barn where several slaves were at work, and carelessly 
remarked to them, that their young master's father must 
have been very rich, to have left his son so fine an estate. 
They replied, "Ah! mister, we don't know nossen bout 
massa's fader. Dis farm and every ting here, was de wid- 
der's. Young massa, he Yankee school master from York, 
and had 'nt got nossen at all. He board here in de winter 
when he keep school, and in de spring, he marry de 
widder." Before leaving the place, the gentleman wished 
me to examine his head, which I did, very carefully, and 
he asked many questions respecting his probable con- 
duct under various circumstances in the past, and he ap- 
peared to think that if phrenology could unriddle so 
clearly the past, perhaps it might lift the veil which hides 
the future, and he ventured the following question: " Can 
you tell me, sir, 'whether I shall outlive my wife?" I then 
thought I had discovered the real secret of what I had 
before suspected, viz., he had married the houses and 
lands, encumbered, as it were, with a life lease, and was 
anxiously waiting to have it expire by limitation. 

If such marriages are the work of Cupid, he must, in 
truth, be, what he has always been represented, a blind 
god; for surely, if he were blessed with sight and sense, 
he would not thus violate every dictate of propriety, and 
every law of nature. But, Cupid's darts, when tipped 
with gold, and plumed with vanity and ambition, make 
some strange flights. 

We have yet to learn, that love is a blind passion, 
which was not designed to use the eye of reason and 
moral sentiment to chasten its flight and direct its course. 
Poets and novelists may talk of blindly "falling in love" 
of being overwhelmingly and irretrievably " smitten" at 
first sight, &c., but who will believe that nature designed 
man to be a slave to the faculties of Amativeness, Adhe- 
3* 



30 CANDOR IN COURTSHIP. 

siveness and Ideality, alone? Phrenology is destined to 
strip the mask from Cupid's eyes, and teach him to retain 
his arrows in his quiver, and listen to the voice of judg- 
ment and the moral sense, till parties are found possessing 
the requisite mental characteristics to constitute a happy 
union. This, we are aware, would eclipse the "tender 
sentiment" of much of its romance; but, it would serve to 
prevent, in the connubial state, much of that painful ro- 
mance in real life, which, like the serpent in Eden, has so 
often invaded the sacred precincts of the hymenial altar. 

A certain writer has very well said, " girls, when you 
see a young man, who would take a wife for the value of 
Jierself; for the beauties of her mind, purity of heart — 
and not for the dazzle of wealth; that man will make a 
good husband, and years will but serve to strengthen his 
attachment. When you see a young man who is tender 
and affectionate, and endowed with a happy intellect and 
energy of character, no matter what his circumstances in 
life are, he is really worth winning. Take him who can, 
girls, for he will make a good husband." 

We have said that there is a great want of candor and 
honesty in modern courtship, and endeavored to show how 
some of these deceptions are practiced. As a sample of 
ancient customs, I beg to refer to the courtship and mar- 
riage of Isaac and Rebecca, recorded in Genesis 24th; the 
constancy and fidelity of Jacob to Rachel, Genesis 29th; 
and the candor and artlessness of Ruth, recorded in the 
book of Ruth. These are samples, dictated by Him who 
instituted marriage, the spirit of which — open-hearted 
honesty — should be practiced at the present day. The 
lady, or gentleman, who breathes the simple truth from 
nature's purest fountain, in bursts of unstudied eloquence, 
will exert a magic power over the beloved object, and 
drive the fawning sycophant and the gay coquette from 
the field. With such matches, when two kindred spirits 



PHRENOLOGY THE TRUE GUIDE. 31 

meet, years only add strength and lasting value to affec- 
tion, and earth is rendered a flowery pathway to heaven. 
And why? They are equally "yoked together," the 
matrimonial law is observed, and the blessings designed 
by God to attend this state, are realized. 

A more fruitful source of unhappiness does not exist in 
society, than the present mode of courtship and marriage. 
The evil has a double bearing; it not only affects the hap- 
piness of the contracting parties themselves, but it is 
transmitted to children in constitution and by example. 
The fountain being poisoned, all the streams send forth 
bitterness, and the evil is perpetuated. Parents stamp 
their moral image upon their children, whose minds are 
"like wax to receive, and like marble to retain." If none 
but well assorted marriages were contracted for an hun- 
dred years to come, we have no doubt but the genera- 
tion then existing on the earth will have been improved, 
at least an hundred per cent., in intellect, in morals, and 
in physical constitution. 

Mr. Combe very justly remarks, " until phrenology was 
discovered, no natural index to the character, that could 
be safely relied on, was possessed, and each individual, in 
directing his conduct, was left to the guidance of his own 
sagacity. Men suffered from unsuitable alliances, and 
will continue to do so till they avail themselves of the 
means of judging, afforded by phrenology, and act in ac- 
cordance with its dictates. Persons uniting in marriage, 
whose tempers, talents, and dispositions do not harmonize, 
is a fruitful source of unhappiness." 

Phrenology, opens the only direct avenue to the feel- 
ings, and the hidden under-current of passion, that give 
tone to the character. These, being suppressed during 
courtship, gather strength by confinement. As volcanic 
fire, long smothered in the bowels of the earth, bursts 
forth with redouble fury, covering whole cities with its 



32 TEMPERAMENT. 

burning flood; so, a smiling swain, may be all kindness 
and condescension till the Rubicon be passed, and she is 
made his own, when, casting off his borrowed character, 
he assumes his native ferocity, causing the doating wife to 
" curse the day that made them one, and wish the priest 
speechless, who knit the knot." 

In forming the conjugal union, the health and constitu- 
tion of the parties should be critically regarded. We have 
no natural or moral right to perpetuate unhealthy consti- 
tutions. We have no right to poison the morals^ or cramp 
and mislead the minds of children; and we do them, and 
the race, a serious wrong in multiplying the number of 
hereditary invalids. A whole family of children, one by 
one, before, or as they arrive at maturity, fall before some 
hereditary malady into an untimely grave. With the 
present ignorance of the laws of physiology, these misfor- 
tunes are generally regarded as the inscrutable providence 
of God, as " severe trials/ 5 and " sore afflictions," without 
dreaming of the true cause which produced them. That 
" a corrupt" or unhealthy "tree cannot bring forth good 
fruit," is a law of nature, and is as true, relative to animal, 
as it is to vegetable health. On examination, it will be 
found that one or both of such unfortunate parents are 
predisposed to pulmonary consumption or some kindred 
disease, and their children inherit it, and with it an early 
grave. 

Good health may be present, yet characterized by a 
temperament which is unfavorable to physical or mental 
vigor. For the benefit of the rising generation, a knowl- 
edge of, and due regard to temperament should be pos- 
sessed and exercised in the choice of companions. Bil- 
ious, nervous and sanguine, in about equal proportions, are 
most favorable to the physical and mental constitution, 
giving activity, excitability and endurance. The tem- 
peraments are often very unequally developed. A man 



LONGEVITY. 33 

with a strongly marked bilious temperament, which is 
known by dark, coarse hair and skin, muscular frame, and 
firm flesh, should choose a wife having a predominance of 
the sanguine and nervous — with light hair and eyes, fair 
complexion, &c; and, vice versa. These constitutions, 
collectively, possess durability and power, excitability 
and activity. It is preferable for each of the parties to 
possess this mixture of temperament; but when this is not 
the case, it should be supplied, and the balance produced 
as above described. 

Those who have attended our course of lectures on the 
phrenological and physiological nature of man, or have read 
in our "Guide to Phrenology," the chapter on the " Tem- 
peraments and Physical Education," will require nothing 
further on this subject here, to enable them to feel the 
importance of this branch of the subject, and, I trust, to 
lead them to judge and practice aright. 

" The reason," says Mr. Combe, " why great men sel- 
dom have a son who fills the measure of the father's glory, 
is, that they have united themselves to a woman of low 
temperament, in whose inert nature, the native fire of the 
father's character is extinguished." 

But it is when two favorable temperaments are united 
in the parents, with large heads, great moral and reason- 
ing organs, and a due regard paid to the laws of health, 
and mental and physical exercise, that giant minds have 
been produced. Hon. John Quincy Adams is a happy 
illustration of this. Of his mental powers, it is unneces- 
sary for me to speak, for he has spoken, and an admiring 
world has rendered its verdict. Both his father and 
mother had superior minds; were always active in liter- 
ary, moral and patriotic pursuits; and how far these no- 
ble qualities have been inherited by the son — judge ye. 
He now enjoys a "green old age," with the unabated en- 
ergy of his intellect. From what, I ask, can this arise, 



34 MORAL QUALITIES OF PARTIES. 

but one of the best constitutions ever transmitted ? Was 
this constitution accidental? or was it the result of expli- 
cable causes ? Both of his parents went to their grave 
full of years and of honors; and so unabated was the in- 
tellect and patriotic fervor of this father, at the age of 
ninety-one, that, when asked for a "sentiment," (it being 
July fourth,) he exclaimed " Independence, Independence 
forever," and fell asleep in death. 

When such men as John Gtuincy Adams, are permitted 
so long to live and adorn human nature, can we question 
the propriety — the absolute necessity, of good physical 
constitutions, and high mental development in parents, 
with reference to the character, constitution and mental 
capacity of their posterity ? 

"Men of genius have descended from fathers who man- 
ifested no ethereal qualities, but they have been the for- 
tunate husbands of women of excellent temperament and 
highly developed brain." Children resembling such a 
father, mainly, would have remained in obscurity, while 
those who partook principally of the mother's qualities, 
would rise to eminence ; hence, the great diversity of con- 
stitution and character, often seen in the same family. 

Proper attention being given to the constitution and 
temperament, if found favorable, the next thing to be ob- 
served, is the size and shape of the brain. 

If human happiness depends upon the harmonious ac- 
tivity of all the faculties, and if the union of feeling and 
character constitutes the endearing bond of friendship, 
phrenology — or the science by which to judge correctly of 
the mental qualities — cannot be disregarded in forming 
matrimonial alliances, without hazard to our highest 
earthly interest. 

In the first place, then, the surest dependence, is a large 
development of the moral organs. Nothing can atone 
for a want of these. Nothing can supply their deficiency. 



THE HEAD THE TRUE INDEX OF THE HEART. 35 

A young man once reviled religion, and scouted the 
idea of moral obligation, in the presence of a lady whom 
he expected soon to marry. She raised her swimming 
eyes, with an expression which manifested that a struggle 
was going on in her soul between love and duty, and, to 
her eternal honor, said, "he who can speak against God 
and moral duty, can never be a good husband. I have 
sincerely loved you, but did not know your real character., 
From this moment we must separate. We never can be 
one." 

Suppose a woman, with a high development of the 
moral organs, united to a man having a head like that of 
Nero, or Pope Alexander, VI. The mental differences 
thus existing, would destroy the peace of the wife, know- 
ing him to be dishonest, selfish and immoral ; while he 
would find her too pure a spirit for congeniality with his 
own, and both would be rendered unhappy. While, on 
the other hand, what can be a more deplorable condition, 
than that of an intellectual, well educated, moral man, be- 
ing doomed, by marriage, to the society of an immoral, 
deceitful, jealous, narrow-minded wife? Yet such mar- 
riages exist in thousands of instances, but the circum- 
stances which lead to this consummation, are, money, per- 
sonal beauty, respectable connections, and the like, while 
the real character is not studied, and the true law of union 
totally disregarded. 

Let me here remark, that, if a person have good talents 
and large Secretiveness, they can appear as kind and mild 
as the turtle-dove, through a protracted courtship, and thus 
effectually conceal the bitter passions that rankle within, 
which the sober realities of life will be sure to develop, to 
the lasting regret of their hapless victim. Be not de- 
ceived by fair professions, and kind and benignant outward 
deportment; for, remember that the lips may deceive, but 
the head will not lie. The smile of a hypocrite, cannot 



36 STEP-MOTHERS. 

obliterate excessive Destructiveness and Combativeness, 
nor supply the want of Adhesiveness, Benevolence and 
Conscientiousness. On the head is engraven by nature 
herself the germ of character, as you will assuredly find 
it when time and experience lays bare that character. 

The organ of Adhesiveness, which is the foundation of 
fraternal affection, should also exist in large development 
in both parties, to produce that durable and fervent friend- 
ship which is so essential to the happiness of the married. 
This organ is more frequently found large in the heads of 
women than of men — hence the remark that "woman loves 
and loves forever," though some unhappy exceptions to 
this assertion have tarnished the character of those less 
happily endowed with it. Irving, I think it is, says, 
" woman embarks her whole soul in the traffic of the affec- 
tions, and if wrecked in this, her case is hopeless, for it is 
the bankruptcy of the heart." 

Philoprogenitiveness should also be large in both, but 
woman, especially, should have the organ large, to render 
the care and training of children a pleasure, rather than a 
burden; indeed, I have rarely seen a woman with this 
organ small, who was a good wife, and certainly never a 
good mother. 

It has become a proverb, that, " the hand of the step- 
mother is cold," and hence, it is almost a matter of course 
that the children of a previous union and their legal 
mother, are expected to disagree. A woman with only an 
average amount of Philoprogenitiveness, may take tolera- 
ble care of her own children, but it requires a very large 
endowment of the faculty, to produce deep maternal solici- 
tude for the children of another. A young woman came 
forward for examination at a public lecture in the State ot 
Virginia, several years since, and nearly the first remark 
of the examiner was, " this lady ought never to marry a 
widower having children, for Philoprogenitiveness is ex- 



A BRUTAL STEP-MOTHER. 37 

tremely small, and the propelling organs large, hence it is 
barely possible that she can possess the patience neces- 
sary to have the care of children, even though they were 
her own." This announcement produced a thrilling ef- 
fect upon the audience, for, as the sequel proved, the lady, 
though apparently not more than eighteen or twenty years 
of age, had, for more than a year, been married to a wid- 
ower of the first respectability, who had two children, and, 
said a physician who was her nearest neighbor, " I have 
been attracted by the heart-rending screams of the young- 
est child, to rush into her house, and impelled by a sense 
of duty to take the little sufferer, by force, from her hands, 
for I feared she would whip it to death. This I have done 
no less than three times within the last six months. The 
poor little fellow, though not more than three years old, 
constantly wears the marks of the whip. The older child 
fares no better." She was highly educated and accom- 
plished, possessed many personal attractions, and belonged 
to and moved in the first circle of society. How much 
bitterness of spirit might not have been prevented in all 
the parties, and more especially of the children, had that 
father understood and obeyed the dictates of phrenology, 
or if that public examination could have been made 
eighteen months before, and been as firmly believed to be 
correct, as the whole audience now knew it to be, to say 
nothing of her own convictions? 

A woman, with her own happiness, alone, in view, should 
never undertake the high duties of step-mother, unless she 
is conscious of possessing a very large endowment of Phi- 
loprogenitiveness ; as it would otherwise be impossible 
for her to discharge the maternal duties, without great sac- 
rifices of personal feeling, if it were possible to discharge 
them at all. Her natural repugnance to children would 
make such a mother unhappy, while the most tender string 

of the father's feelings would be attuned to tones of sor- 

1 



38 WARRING ELEMENTS. 

row, and the unhappy children left to wither as on a frigid 
desert. 

We know many very kind step-mothers, but not one of 
them has small Philoprogenitiveness. The remark is 
truly applicable to widowers, that " Combe and Cupid 
should be fellow-travelers, and by consulting Gall, they 
may avoid wormwood. 35 

As the proper training and education of the infant mind 
is one of the most important duties of life, and as no per- 
son can discharge that high trust as well as the mother, it 
follows, that all mothers should be well educated them- 
selves, to be qualified for the duty, and endowed with 
large Philoprogenitiveness, that the duty may be a pleas- 
ure. If Firmness, Destructiveness, and Combativeness 
are too large, the person will be likely to dispute every lit- 
tle point, and with large Language and moderate Secre- 
tiveness, want the last word in the dispute. If, unfortu- 
nately, this combination exists in both husband and wife, 
jarring and collision may be expected to arise, and "what 
ought to be the palace of peace and the mansion of the 
softer affections of our nature, becomes the theatre of war; 
and, ©f ; all states of hostility, that existing between hus- 
band and wife is the most interminable and incurable, be- 
cause the combatants live constantly together, and have 
all things in common." 

The subject increases in interest, when we reflect, that 
unfavorable mental organization, and consequent unhap- 
piness on the part of parents, seriously affects the dispo- 
sitions of children. What are we to expect from such 
marriages 7 Instead of benefiting the human race by the 
union, another brood of vipers are sent forth upon the 
world, to mar its peace, and contaminate whatever comes 
within the periphery of their influence. Unhappy mar- 
riages are not confined to the lower classes of society. 
We enter the mansions of the wealthy, the learned and 



A BAD BARGAIN. 39 

high-born, and find pale-faced malice and green-eyed jeal- 
ousy scourging from domestic life all its joy, and planting 
the thorns of strife where the olive-branch of peace should 
ever wave. High intellectual power, and sparkling gen- 
ius, are not proof against family broils. 

Well-balanced minds, where all the faculties are in har- 
monious and well-directed action, constitute the true basis 
on which the temple of connubial bliss is founded. While 
these conditions are disregarded, happy marriages must 
be "like angel's visits, few and far between." 

But, it may be said, that " as all heads are not what 
they should be, and, of course, if we must reject the bad 
ones, there are many persons who must live single." This 
objection is rather favorable to phrenology than against 
it, even though it doom all who are unfit for marriage to 
single solitude. But, continues the objector, " this will 
produce disturbance in society, if your new science is to 
prescribe who are, and who are not fitted for the marriage 
relation." Not more disturbance will, I apprehend, be 
produced in society by rejecting the unworthy, than is sure 
to occur if they marry. But if any wish to marry those 
having mean heads, take them who will, and make the 
best you can of a miserably bad bargain. If however, 
you would avoid an unhappy connection with such per- 
sons, take phrenology for your confidential adviser, appeal 
to reason for her approval, and the moral sentiments for 
their sanction, and then, if you are less happy in marriage 
than you could desire, review your character, reform what 
is faulty in disposition and conduct, and your highest 
reasonable hopes shall be realized. 

"What," says Dr. Johnson, "can be expected, but dis- 
appointment and repentance, from a choice made in the im- 
maturity of youth, in the ardor of desire, without foresight, 
without inquiry after conformity of opinions, similarity of 
manners, rectitude of judgment, or purity of sentiment ? " 



40 SCOLDING. 

Such is the common process of marriage. A youth and 
maiden meeting by chance, or brought together by arti- 
fice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home and 
dream of each other. Having nothing to divert attention, 
or diversify thought, they find themselves uneasy when 
they are apart, and therefore conclude that they shall be 
happy together. They marry, and discover, what noth- 
ing but voluntary blindness had concealed; they wear 
out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty." 

The excessive activity of Combativeness, arising to a 
flame or a tempest without control, and exhibiting a petu- 
lant, fault-finding, scolding disposition, is one of the most 
prolific and common sources of matrimonial unhappiness. 
It creates a chilling atmosphere in the garden of the affec- 
tions, which is no less sure to nip every tender plant that 
opens its blooming petals to the genial rays of the orb of 
conjugal love, than is the vernal frost which lays in ruins 
the beauty of nature, and spreads gloom and famine in its 
desolating track. 

Much has been said and written on the subject of 
scolding men and women, and various have been the hu- 
morous methods proposed for the cure of this troublesome 
disease. But phrenology affords the best explanation of 
its cause and proper remedy, with which its unhappy vic- 
tims have ever been favored. There are some who claim 
it as a virtue in themselves to pour out the vials of their 
wrath on every offender; and if they are irritated by their 
work, or are suffering from corns, rheumatism, or teeth- 
ache, or have received any real or imaginary insult or 
injury from any one, the whole family, dog and all, alike 
the innocent and the guilty, must suffer their scathing 
maledictions. 

A woman of my acquaintance, who is naturally kind 
and affectionate, when her Combativeness is at rest, yet 
who is one of the class above named, often says of herself, 
" I think it i? the hrst way to spit it right out, and not har- 



ANECDOTE. CROOKED WOOD. 41 

bor hard feelings as many do." She, and many others, 
appear to think, that their whole mental nature is aroused 
when they are angry, and do not suspect that they are 
under the flaming dominion of, perhaps, a single faculty, 
Why not, on the same principle, submit to the tyrannical 
sway of any other animal propensity? What horrid 
abuse of one's powers, to yield to the unrestrained indul- 
gence of Alimentiveness, and become a gormand or a 
drunkard; or to Acquisitiveness, and become a thief, or a 
Shylock ; or to Amativeness, and curse the race by licen- 
tious impurity 1 

It is often urged by some persons, that £ *a woman who 
cannot scold is good for nothing." No good phrenologist, 
or any other person who understands the philosophy of the 
mental constitution, ever uttered such an assertion. It is 
true, that all who are vigorous and highly energetic in 
the discharge of their varied duties, have an energetic 
temperament, and strong propelling organs; but it does 
not necessarily follow that they must abuse these natu- 
rally excellent qualities in the form of scolding. A dis- 
tinction between the normal exercise of the mental powers, 
and their abuse, should never be lost sight of. W r e agree 
that a man or woman, destitute of those organs which are 
abused in scolding, would be i: good for nothing," in any 
capacity requiring strength of character ; but we have yet 
to learn that they are the more desirable for employing such 
a questionable method to develop their "good" qualities. 

We will not say that any who have the scolding pro- 
pensity are absolutely incurable, hut we know some very 
obstinate cases. We also know some persons, who have 
such a happy mental organization that they never in- 
dulge a petulant spirit. An anecdote will illustrate these 
cases. 

Two thriving farmers, A. and B., lived near neighbors, 
whose wives were patterns of energy, industry, frugality, 

4* 



42 PHILOSOPHY OF SCOLDING. 

neatness, &c. Each had been married about fifteen 
years, and the wife of A. proved to be a perfect terma- 
gant, while that of B. had not spoken petulantly since her 
marriage. These men were one day in the midst of an 
interesting conversation, when the dinner-horn from the 
house of Mr. A. was sounded, and he said to B., "I must 
go at once, or my wife will give me such a lecture." c; I 
really wish," replied B., " that I could hear my wife scold 
as yours does, for Hve minutes, just to see how it would 
sound, for she has never uttered a crooked word since our 
marriage." " O !" said A., with a sigh, " get for your wife 
a load of crooked wood, and you will hear it, I warrant 
you, for nothing makes my wife rave equal to that." Far- 
mer B. kept his own counsel, and when he went to the 
forest to prepare his year's supply of wood, he was care- 
ful to cut every crooked stick on each side of the curve, so 
as to preserve it entire, and to throw all such sticks in a 
separate pile, subject to his order. When his old stock of 
wood was consumed, he collected an entire load of these 
crooked sticks and deposited them at his door, and said 
nothing. When he came to dinner the next day, he ex- 
pected the verification of the prophecy; but the meal, as 
usual, was well cooked and in good time, and his wife came 
to the board with her usual beneficent smile, and said 
nothing relative to the wood. As the wood wasted away, 
his curiosity and anxiety increased, till his wife one day 
said to him, " husband, our wood is nearly exhausted, and 
i[ you have any more like the last you brought me, I wish 
you would get it, for it is the best I ever had, it fits around 
the pots and kettles so nicely." 

This unhappy propensity of scolding; this habitual un- 
evenness of temper, produces the most unhappy effects 
upon all concerned. It not only embitters the conjugal 
state, but the temper and disposition of children and do- 
mestics, are rendered sour, depraved and malignant. It 



CURE FOR SCOLDING. 43 

is of great importance to cultivate in children, habits of 
moderation, forbearance, and sweetness of temper, and 
a conciliatory and courteous bearing in their entire social 
intercourse. A fretful scolding mother usually endows 
her daughters with the same tendencies, and a morose 
and fault-finding father, transmits alike his temper and 
spirit by hereditary influence, or the second nature of ex- 
ample and habit. When I see a little girl scold and whip 
her doll, I know that it is only an echo of her mother's do- 
mestic management. Self-control and self-culture, are 
highly important and possible achievements. 

But I have dwelt long enough on the dark side of the 
picture, upon the ills and evils of unhappy marriages, and 
endeavored to show that the cause exists in ill-assorted 
matches, and in the mental antagonism of those united. 
Do you now ask ' ; is there no antidote for this vital 
evil?" I gladly answer, yes. 

To those who are married, I would beg leave to say, 
study your own weaknesses, and guard against them. If 
you have faults which annoy you and poison your domestic 
peace, phrenology tells you what they are, and how to 
correct them. Endeavor to adapt yourselves to each 
other by studying your respective tastes and dispositions, 
so that one class of faculties shall not arise in unhappy 
opposition to any other class. If anger is a ci besetting 
sin," it may be greatly modified by exciting the higher 
sentiments and intellect, with the social feelings, thereby 
silencing, as much as possible, the angry passions, by suf- 
fering them, through idleness, to become weak and inac- 
tive. 

If your wife speaks unkindly to you, either make no 
reply, or give her ' : a soft answer which turneth away 
wrath." But why does it have this effect ? Because a 
direct appeal is thus made to the faculties of Benevolence 
and Adhesiveness, and they silence Combativeness, or any 



44 THE GOOD WIFE. 

other opposing faculty. Follow up this course with Com- 
bativeness, and the little usurper will be weakened and 
controlled, if not vanquished. 

Does your husband seem unkind, rude and hasty, or do 
his words fall from his lips with an unwonted coldness ? 
Let your Cautiousness, Conscientiousness and Benevo- 
lence, guard you against a like reply. There may be 
some cause for his ruffled temper, (but no just excuse 
for venting it upon his wife) of which you are not in- 
formed, and instead of fanning the flame of his passion, 
you should soothe it to silence by speaking directly to his 
Benevolence, in its own angelic language ; and by this act, 
though loved before, you become dearer to him than ever. 
Perhaps some reverse in his business, in which you are 
equally interested, has ruffled his mind, and he, to spare 
you the pain of its disclosure, keeps the fact locked up in 
his own mind. A servant may have irritated him, a cus- 
tomer insulted, or a friend abused him. He has racked 
his brain and wearied his body during the day, for your 
comfort, and returns from his struggle with fortune and a 
selfish world, perplexed and weary, to find quiet and re- 
pose. Under such a state of mind, he is ill prepared to 
receive any thing but kindness, and you should strive to 
make home to him the dearest place on earth. If he is 
generally kind, you should pardon his occasional delin- 
quencies, and try, by your own uniform tenderness, to alle- 
viate his cares and correct his faults. 

If either wish to give reproof, let it be administered with 
all gentleness ; at a time, too, when the moral sentiments 
and intellect, in both parties, are in a state of activity. 
At such a time reproof is well received and highly valua- 
ble. It has been very wisely said, "when angry, count ten 
before speaking: if very angry, an hundred." And why? 
It gives Combativeness time to cool. 

How soothing to the care-worn man, as he returns from 



WOMAN ELEVATED. 45 

his daily business, to see the blazing hearth, the tidy- 
apartments, the inviting repast, a smiling wife and happy 
children. Worthy the woman who orders well her house, 
and happy the man who calls her, wife; "her children 
arise up and call her blessed." 

To those who are unmarried, permit me to say: first of 
all, look for a high moral development, with sufficient 
Cautiousness and Secretiveness to give prudence and cir- 
cumspection. Next, a good intellect; for, aside from its 
practical importance in all the business of life, the time 
will come, and we hope speedily, when all mankind shall 
be honored and respected, mainly, for their intellectual and 
moral qualities, which are a treasure that the wealth of 
India is too poor to purchase, and of which, the withering 
simoon of adversity, or terrific death itself, cannot rob us. 
The social organs should also be large in both, that each 
may understand and feel willing to practice the appro- 
priate duties which pertain to the endearing relation of 
husband and wife. 

The soul of domestic felicity depends, in a high degree, 
upon the character of woman. As well may we look for 
spring and summer without their sunshine and showers, 
as to expect a truly happy family, without the full devel- 
opment of those affectionate and delicate sensibilities, 
which make up the crowning glory of the female charac- 
ter — not as we sometimes find it — but, as it should be; as 
proper development will make it. 

What is it that constitutes woman's love, the pervad- 
ing, governing principle of her soul ? Why is it that wo- 
man's heart, in its natural and proper sphere, is the foun- 
tain of never-changing affection ; "the well of refreshment 
in the desert; the rose that blooms unfading under the 
sunshine of one beloved eye ; the voice that rises in a con- 
tinued strain of melody, above the discord of the world ; 
the bird of beauty, whose faithful wing is never folded, 
save in its own favored nest: the pure unsullied stream, 



46 WOMAN ELEVATED. 

offering* sweetness and balm on every bosom it meets, but 
reserving the full tide of its gladness for one ?" I answer, 
the moral and social t organs impart these holy impulses, 
which nothing but a defective education and example can 
counteract. 

Then cripple not her energies. Give her the cultiva- 
tion that her character and talents demand; that her station 
as a mother requires. Regard her, not as the drudge, but 
as the equal, of man. Let the native genius of her charac- 
ter be assisted in its aspirations, and her influence in so- 
ciety will become the great main-spring of virtue. 

But where woman is considered as destitute of a soul, 
as the proper slave of man, and unworthy of confidence and 
companionship; there the domestic affections are not cul- 
tivated; despotism or barbarous customs prevail, and the 
poisonous influence is apparent in all their institutions. 
Such tribes, or nations, may be powerful, but cruelty and 
blood marks the withering influence of such power; kind- 
ness and peace find a grave, and the thirsty earth is often 
saturated with the warm, gurgling current of human life. 
On the contrary, in those countries where marriage is most 
universal, and the matrimonial law, as dictated by the Au- 
thor of our being, most rigorously regarded, there are the 
rights of woman most respected, her moral and intellec- 
tual character elevated, and the refining influence of 'her 
nature stamped upon the happiness of states and empires. 
Thus it will be seen, that the well-being of society, the 
happiness and prosperity of the world, depend on the ele- 
vation of the female character. 

Give her, then, a substantial and solid education; teach 
her that she should exert other and nobler influence in so- 
ciety than the mere glitter of fashion; that her virtues, 
which charm and win the soul, should not be like the 
blushing rose, that blooms for a day and is seen no more ; 
but like the medicinal plant, which, long after its rainbow- 
tint of beauty has departed, retains all its healing virtues. 



FELICITY THE RESULT OF OBEDIENCE. 47 

This, then, is the excellence of woman's nature, and her 
strong moral and social affections struggle for the high 
elevation. Do gentlemen desire such women for compan- 
ions ? Let them cultivate a character which shall be wor- 
thy of such exalted companionship. Admire nothing in 
woman's character but that which savors of virtue, and 
you will thus call into activity the purest feelings of her 
nature, by thus making a demand for them, and woman 
will then become, what she was designed to be, the orna- 
ment of the world. 

The qualities you should seek, are not of that showy 
character which struts forth to promiscuous admiration, 
but is modest and retiring, and seeks to bestow its melting 
influence on the happy domestic circle. Choose her as 
you would an article of apparel — for qualities that wear 
well; for her correct taste, amiable disposition, energy of 
character, heroic moral virtue — not "for her perfect form, 
her sparkling eyes, or her silken tresses, whether they fall 
in flowing masses over a marble brow, or glitter in the 
sunbeam like threads of waving gold." These charms 
aibne are of little value. A short period of disease, or a 
few years of time, may rob her of all these, but personal 
charms, when accompanied with the beauties of the mind, 
are "like apples of gold in pictures of silver." 

The sketches above drawn, may be supposed too highly 
colored and too broadly lined, but I appeal to facts for 
proof, that those of both sexes have lived, who stood on 
such a summit of virtue, that, when they had ceased to 
adorn and bless the world, have melted away into heaven. 
The full development and harmonious action of all the fac- 
ulties, sweetened by the mild influence of religion, has pro- 
duced all this, and will as often effect it as the conditions 
are regarded. Do not be discouraged, if you are conscious 
of being below this elevated standard; but strive for the 
highest excellence, and success shall crown your efforts. 
Then will the married state be a blessing to those who 



48 HUMAN PERFECTION AND HAPPINESS. 

enter it; then will the world cease to deserve the name of 
" a vale of tears." 

O ! when shall the blissful period arrive, that mankind 
shall be guided by the nobler sentiments of the soul in the 
choice of companions, and in all the social and domestic 
relations ? When shall the rising generations, which are 
to wield the moral and political destinies of the world, fall 
into the hands of those who shall train them for their 
families, their country, and for heaven ? When man shall 
study his own nature, and become acquainted with the 
laws of his being, and exert his powers to live in obedi- 
ence to them, then, and not till then, will the highest emi- 
nence of human excellence be attained. 

The progress to this exalted station may be slow, but 
the light shed abroad by phrenology, will become the 
handmaid of reason and religion, and each generation, by 
proper cultivation, standing on a still higher platform than 
the past, will finally gain the highest possible elevation of 
intelligence and morality; then shall man, after having 
struggled in darkness and error for many centuries, " re- 
gain an Eden lost," and bask in the sunshine of peace, till 
transplanted to the paradise of God. 



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Mesmerism in India. A Superior 

work, by the celebrated Dr. Esdaile, 50 

Marriage : its History and Philosophy, 

with an Exposition of the Functions of Happy Marriages, - 37£ 

Matrimony : or, Phrenology and Physi- 

ology applied to the Selection of Companions for Life, - - 25 

Natural Laws of Man, Physiologically 

Considered. By Dr. Spurzheim. A good work, ... 25 

Phrenology Proved, Illustrated, and Ap- 

plied. Thirty-seventh edition, in muslin, - - - - - 1 00 

Physiology, Animal and Mental: Ap- 

plied to Health of Body and Power of Mind, .... 50 

Power of Kindness; Inculcating the 

Christian Principles of Love over Physical Force, - - 25 

Popular Phrenology, exhibiting the 

Phrenological Developments of more than fifty persons, - 25 

Physiology of Digestion, considered 

with Relation to the Principles of Dietetics. Illustrated. - 25 

Psychology, or the Science of the Soul. 

With Illustrations of the Brain and Nervous System, - 25 

Phrenological Guide : Designed for the 

Use of Students of their own Characters, 12£ 

Phrenological Almanac : illustrated with 

numerous Engravings. A handsome Annual, - 6^ 

Keligion, Natural and Revealed : or the 

Natural Theology and Moral Bearings of Phrenology, - 50 

Self-Culture and Perfection of Charac- 

ter, including the Management of Youth, • 50 

Symbolical Head and Phrenological 

Chart, in Map Form, showing the Language of the Organs, - 25 

Sober and Temperate Life : with Notes 

and Illustrations by John Burdell, - .... 25 

Self-Instructor in Phrenology and 

Physiology. Illustrated with One Hundred Engravings, 25 



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FOWLERS AND WELLS' PUBLICAN. 

Synopsis of Phrenology and Physiology ; 

With Illustrations in Neurology - .... 12£ 

Science of Swimming : giving the His- 

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The Parent's Guide, and Childbirth 

made Easy. By Mrs. Hester Pendleton, .... 50 

Tobacco : its Effects on the Body and 

Mind. The best work on the subject, 25 

Teeth : their Structure, Disease, and 

Management. By John Burdell, Dentist, I2J 

Temperance and Tight-Lacing ; found- 

ed on the Laws of Life, . 12J 

Vegetable Diet, as Sanctioned by Med- 

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Water-Cure Journal and Herald of Re- 

forms. Devoted to Hydropathy. A Health Journal. - - 1 00 

Water-Cure Manual ; a Popular Work 

on Hydropathy. By Joel Shew, M.D., 50 

Water-Cure in Every Known Disease. 

By J. H. Rausse. Translated by Dr. Meeker, .... 50 

Water-Cure— Errors of Physicians and 

Others in the Application of. By J. H. Rausse, ... 25 

Water-Cure— Experience in. By Mrs. 

M. S. Gove Nichols. With Instructions in Water-Cure, 25 

Water-Cure for Women in Pregnancy 

and Childbirth. Illustrated with numerous cases, ... 25 

Water-Cure Almanac, containing much 

important matter for the healthy and the unhealthy. Yearly. 6i 

Water and Vegetable Diet. By Wm. 

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FOWLERS AND WELLS, 

131 Nasoau st, New York. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



027 324 963 1 



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A 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



027 324 963_!Ltu 

AMERICAN PHRENOLOGl 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





87 324 963 1 i 



BY O. S. & L. N. FOWLER. 



To reform and perfect ourselves and our race, is the most exalted of all works. Yet, 
to do this, we must understand the human constitution. This, Phrenology, Physiology. 
and Vital Magnetism embrace; hence fully expound all the laws of our being, and con- 
ditions of happiness, and constitute universal truth. 

PHRENOLOGY. 
Each number will contain the analysis and location of some phrenological faculty, illus- 
trated by an engraving, or an article on their combinations. 

PHYSIOLOGY. 
Health is Life, the great instrument of talent, virtue, and happiness, all of which it 
augments. To its preservation and restoration, special attention will be given. 

VITAL MAGNETISM, 
With practical instruction, interesting facts, and those choice truths which it unfolds will 
be presented in this Journal. 

YOUNG MEN 

The blessings they enjoy, the influence they can wield, and their preparation for conduct- 
ing our institutions, will form the theme of a series of articles. 

SELF-IMPROVEMENT. 

Who does not long earnestly, and would not strive assiduously, to cultivate his natural 

powers, and render himself better and more happy ? To such, each uumbet will be a 

prompter and a text-book. 

THE J OURNAL 
Will be published monthly, containing 32 large octavo pages, on eood type and paper, 
with a variety of engravings, and much practical instruction to learners, on the following 
very low 

TERMS, IN ADVANCE: 
Single copy, one year, . . $1 00 I Ten copies, one year $7 00 

Five copies, ■ •* • • . 4 00 | Twenty copies, 10 00 

SAMPLE NUMBERS 
Of this Journal sent grat-j, when desired. 
Please address, post *aid, 

FOW LERS AND WEai, 
Clinton Hall, 131 Nassau steeet, New Tors. 



